Thoughts

As I sit at church in the mother's room holding my sleeping baby (hoping my arms don't give out - this kids needs a nap, and most likely won't stay asleep if I try to go to class), I thought it might be a good use of my time to share a few thoughts.

Today is Fast Sunday (for those who by chance are reading this and aren't LDS, we fast for two meals each month on the first Sunday. Our main worship service at church on these days is also a time for any member to share his or her testimony if desired). I'm not usually one to share my testimony because I get anxious being in front of people, I usually cry, and I often have difficulty verbalizing feelings that are close to my heart. Writing them out is much easier. I did actually get up and share my testimony quickly today - I had one if those moments when I really felt like I should. I also felt like I should share those thoughts on here too, so that's what I'm doing, though I can be more thorough and articulate here.

The life I portray on here is a very small fraction of what goes on in our lives. I'm not going to go into any detail, but suffice it to say that life is hard and can be quite challenging. Sometimes I cope better than others. Other days I really struggle to do more than the bare minimum. But, I feel like things are slowly improving and getting better. Part of what has helped is what I bore my testimony of today. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who really knows me and my family's situation. I don't know how to explain how I know that other than the feelings and impressions that I get. I also know that as I read and study from the scriptures (and especially when I put doing that as a high priority in my day), pray, and express gratitude daily, I will feel happier, or at least more at peace. I also know that as I do those things I will be able to receive revelation and inspiration from God regarding things going on in my life. Sometimes it's something as simple as how to change my routine to help Ian sleep better. Other times it is peaceful assurances that things will work out ok, even if we don't know when or how.

I am extremely grateful for this knowledge and Gospel in my life. It helps and sustains me when I don't think I can keep going. Living my life in the context of the knowledge I have gives me meaning and purpose.